It's all just in the mind

I attended a wedding dinner over the weekend. I've only been to two so far but from what I've heard, this is definitely the year of tying-the-knots. Be it a whole year of meticulous planning to simple, fuss-free, last minute ideas, I'm sure most of everyone I know has been invited to at least one wedding this year. I even know people who rush from one reception to another on the very same day. And on Monday, I received an e-mail surprise from my highschool classmate, Helena, announcing her marriage to a Frenchman in two weeks time. Sigh, if only I could find the means to flyover in such short notice.

Invitations aside, planning a wedding isn't an easy task. For that very reason, God created wedding planners - to help those who require help in their time of need. There's a long list of 101 things to do/ get/ have. But for today, I'll sum it down to just entertainment, food, and table arrangements at dinner. Basically, you don't want your guests feeling bored. You don't want them to think of your wedding as just another wedding. You don't want them complaining about the food. And you certainly don't want them placed in an awkward situation, seated with strangers, because deep down, we in our Asian hearts know how awfully anti-social and cold we can be towards people we're not familiar with. We either:
a) put our best mask on and play the part of a perky friend of the bride/ groom and start diving into the "So, where do you work?" Q&As while trying to hold our smile as long as we can, listening attentively, as though we're deeply interested in the conversation. Truth is, it's the only way we'll survive the next couple of hours; or
b) we just don't heck care. Pretend we don't actually see anyone else sitting on the same table. We feel their presence, but they're not really there. It's almost ghostly and that thrills us. The challenge of 'I-don't-see-the-need-of-getting-to-know-anyone-here-nor-am-I-interested-in-small-talk-so-I'll-just-sit-here-unless-someone-finds-it-necessary-to-strike-up-a-conversation-with-me-on-which-I-would-have-to-unfortunately-respond-so-I've-got-my-fingers-and-toes-crossed' brings us to a whole new level of introverting and that delights us.

Thankfully, I was placed on a table with friends.
We entertained ourselves. That was probably the only entertainment we got that night aside from the faint sound of the strings and percussion quartet playing live on the noisy background.

The next paragraph will be short and detailed. I promise.

We went into the restaurant. Took our seats. Felt hungry. Saw the small little cake boxes placed nicely on the side of our plates. Thought we'd have the cake before dinner. I opened it. Wow, butter cake! Nice. A change from the usual fruit cake. I took a bite. Felt something tangled in my braces. Key word being tangled. Took what was left of the cake, out of my mouth. And...

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! EEEEWWWWW!!!! ARGGGHHHHH!!!!

I was mortified.

The answer? A strand of human hair. Baked IN the cake.

Needless to say, my eyes were on microscopic mode after that incident. From dish to dish, I was scanning with my bionic vision switched on. I pulled a few mean comments like "you guys better watch out with the sharksfin soup!" but only because I had good intentions. It wasn't meant to spoil everyone's appetite along with mine.

Halfway through the dinner. I started to feel sick. It was nothing actually. Completely nothing. It was, as we know, just in my mind.

We joked about it and were quite sure that was the highlight of our table for the night.

But as we know, lightning can strike...twice.

The dinner ended with the serving of desert. There was this bright tri-coloured jelly-cake and chinese pancake with lotus paste. I had my eyes on the jelly-cakes because they look so yummy! The texture was soft, like that of marshmallows. It was attacked by our chopsticks, one by one. We were smiling. Happy. And then there was only one piece left. We were still smiling. Happy.

Right up to the moment Liz exclaimed, "Oh my gawd, is that a cockroach's leg?!?!!!"

It was too good to be true. A perfect complement to the strand of hair. How could I not take a picture of such a classic event? heh heh heh...



(note: the picture above is not a result of graphic artistry. I have better things to do than thrill myself by planting a roach's leg and human hair on food. There were nine eye witnesses on our table.)

So there you have it. All in the family. The butter cake with the strand of hair baked-into it, the jelly with the cockroach's leg and the small little cake box they prepack the sliced cake in - the one with the nice logo and name of the restaurant. Yes, a classic shot. I cropped the picture of the box, just so I could enlarge the main highlights of that night - the hair and the roach's leg. But if you're a Malaysian, and a Chinese at that, you should be able to take a guess on the restaurant from part of the logo in the picture. Check with me for the answer. Heh.

Of the nine on the table, I think Mycael's girlfriend had the best expression for the roach incident. She was so grossed out, I was sure she'd fall sick if she didn't snap the thought out of her mind immediately. Edmund always says, "What you don't know, don't hurt", and while I believe it only applies to some areas of our lives, I must say, I sure do see it work in this very scenario. It isn't so much of being ignorant as we'd be losing our minds if we were aware of every little tiny unhygienic detail. We're in contact with gross stuff every single day. We just don't take time out in our crazy schedules to acknowledge them, and for that, we escape having to worry and what's worse, suffer from OCD.

I know of a fastfood outlet whose staff dropped a piece of chicken wing on the floor and was instructed by his manager to pick it up and serve it anyway (by the way, it isn't KFC). Harmless? Would it be right to say that if Liz didn't see the roach's leg on the desert and one of us were to eat it, bite-swallow-digest-the works, everything would be just fine and tomorrow would just be another bright, sunny day?

After all, what you don't know, don't hurt.

And to the newly-weds, Mark and Sue An, my sincere congratulations to you both. I've honestly never seen Mark's pearly white smile last for hours and Sue An in beautiful make-up. You're one of the very few couples I know who complement each other in the strangest yet loving ways. It was truly your night to shine. Here's to the next generation of the Lim family. *smiles*