Will we ever be ready?

Jon's dad isn't doing well. Hearing such news pains me. It doesn't take a personal experience to imagine how much the family must be going through and the confusing state of mind. When you care for someone, the feeling comes naturally. Like the sudden shock I felt while driving along Jalan Tun Sambanthan to hear that Lee Kin's dad passed away from brain tumor.

Parents - for as much as we love them and as much as we can't stand them, have always been around for as long as we can stretch our memory. They were there when we were first introduced to the world. They were there when we knew nothing. They were there when we were innocent. They were there when we couldn't fend for ourselves. They were the only two people we would run to. They were our only friends. And they are still here now that we are familiar with the environment, we seem to know-it-all, can stand on our own and are no longer the innocent little naive twinkles we were. I understand that the story varies for all of us. Some may find the bond stronger with their siblings and some may not have such fond memories of their parents. Besides, every family tree has its brokened branches.

We've grown to be so comfortable around our parents. Something good as it is bad. We can be our true selves around them, sans make-up. There's no need to be as nice as we would to a new found friend. Heck, some kids don't even bother with respect and courtesy around their parents after a while. We can afford to be agitated...impatient...ticked off. After all, it's been years of staying under the same roof, hasn't it? We've grown too comfortable. We've taken advantage of the whole picture.

We're fully aware that everyone expires from the world someday. We just don't expect it to be sudden. Parents are supposed to leave the world when they're old and grey while we've built a family with our spouse and five kids, living in a decent home with two cars and promising income. Like how kids are meant to go to school on opening day and return home safe, happy and full of stories they can't wait to tell. Not massacred after being held hostage for days.

Fact is, we'll never be prepared to say goodbye...be it a sudden or slow death. And I think the idea of our parents (or grandparents, to those who are attached to their grans) leaving this world, brings us to an entire new phase in our lives. To some, it's about acceptance. Others, it's overcoming denial.

I remember the sudden death of Jean Corr, wife of Gerry and mother of Jim, Sharon, Caroline and Andrea. She had fallen ill and in a matter of months, passed away from a rare sickness. Just like that. Since then, every album recorded has had a song written in memory of Jean. I watched a recent promo that day with Sharon personally sharing on how, till this very day, she cannot accept the fact that their mum has passed on. It goes beyond getting the answer to the question "Why?". And writing about it in song probably helps them channel their thoughts and feelings.

I never thought one day you'd be gone, away forevermore. No one could say, no one could explain why you were taken. Oh, where are you now? Could I get there somehow?

It's time to say goodbye. Block out the sun, pack up the sky. Don't let my tears start to make you cry. Each time I try to say my goodbye, try to stop asking why.

Tell me it's true, tell me there's something more - another time for love. One day I'll know, one day I'll be there. Will you be waiting? Oh, where you are now. Could I get there somehow?

We think that we'd be ready in ten years. Maybe five. Why not just give us until next year? Please, can we have one more month? Or just another day? How about one more try?