'Single' shot of wedding depresso with cream, please?

It was the wedding to look forward to.

I met Chin Heng and his brother, Chin Teik, along with many others at Sue's 'Singles' party more than two years ago. He came with Elaine Ho and a bunch of other Methodist College (MC) friends. He was one of the few at the party that was actually 'attached' and didn't fit the 'single' theme of the night. His girlfriend, Lee Ming, was in the States completing her Masters There were a few more like him - Kenny had a girlfriend back then too but he brought his boss, Goh, who had just broken up with his girlfriend of eleven years. That was the highlight story of the night. Not to mention that Goh's a very good looking, intelligent, doctor. So if there were so many fishes in the sea, the catch-of-the-day on the menu that night was definitely Goh alright.

From that day onwards, we were unofficially known as the 'singles group'. Unofficial because it was known only to those who were present that night and not to members of the public and when they'd ask where we all met, there never fails to be an embarassing few seconds of err...and umm...before someone develops the courage to spill out: "singles party". We weren't exceptionally close to one another. But we were friends. Friends who met up once in a while to have a few laughs over cocktails. Needless to say, the group grew. With meetings at the previous Chill, Viva, Bangsar, Hartamas, bars in KL, you name it. It would be impossible for everyone to be present at each meeting though. I for one, didn't have a good record of attendance at these meet-ups. After a while, I even disappeared from the 'scene'. The frequent drinking and partying wasn't my cup of tea. People started bringing friends and friends of friends and before you knew it, introductions were necessary each time with every new face. Some of the guys even formed groups of basketball and futsal teams and have become close buddies since. Also, with time, a few singles from the group found their special someones. But NOT from within the group though. If you ask me, I think it would be a disaster if singles from the group got hooked up with each other. So maybe it's all for the better. What an irony, you say? Yeah, tell me about it. To think that Sue had the party with hopes to stir some interesting dramas but ended up with a huge bunch of 'friends’.

Time flew. Chin Heng said he'll get married next year. And next year was last night.For starters, the jam heading to Mandarin Oriental on Thursday night is NO JOKE. Even if you work a stone’s throw away, you’re better off walking there than driving as you’re set to be on the road for at least half an hour, if not more. It was great to meet friends from the singles group that I haven’t seen in a while. It was like some sort of arranged reunion with everyone dressed up for a ball. And what greater celebration than that of a friend’s wedding. :)

The deco was nice. Simple and elegant. I got a few ideas from there. For whose wedding? God knows. :P Sadly, the CD of songs that Chin Heng compiled kept skipping and we were like, Oh no! And they had to keep forwarding it from track to track until it played smoothly. Thank goodness their intro music didn’t skip! It was “I Finally Found Someone” – Barbra Streisand and Bryan Adams. :) There was a boo-boo during the multimedia presentation. The images were projected but there was no sound. And the P.A. guy only realised it when the video was almost over. So they had to rewind and replay. They hired a wedding planner whose name I shall not mention here. I don’t think he did a fantastic job at all, especially for the ridiculous price he charged them. But ah well, it wasn’t my wedding. As long as bride and groom and their family are happy, all’s good. ;) They did however have good photography. I’m pretty sure it’s the same guys who did the pictures for Liz’s friend’s wedding a few months ago. The creativity, quality and angle she described to me pretty much matches the work I saw that night.

Patrick was telling Sue and I how he's had it with dating around and wants to look for marriage material. When Sue asked what that meant, he said, the kind who can fold clothes, cook...and she was like, WHAT?! That's a maid! hahaha. And he replied, no, I can cook very well and fold clothes too and all that. And I said, then why do you need a wife who can do the exact same thing when you can manage yourself? And he went, well, so we can do things together. And I said, you're bound to fight if two chefs are in the same kitchen with two different recipes. And he said, no, she'll be doing the cooking...I'll be doing the watching. And I'm like, where’s the togetherness in that?! Then he had to bring up how women like us are not marriage material. "No offense la, but it's true", he said. Apparently, we're career driven. Always busy on the phone - ring ring ring, can't stop. Sms-es flowing in every 5 seconds. Working way too many hours - and still sitting in the office when men are already hitting the pubs for happy hour! Work work work. Not marriage material. So what exactly is marriage material, Pat? Is it those girls you see hanging around the bar with their skimpy little Sungei Wang outfits? Right…

Then came the multimedia presentation of videos and pictures. Baby pictures (we all have that), childhood pictures (we all have that too), teenage pictures (yup, those embarassing pictures of weird hairstyles and pimply faces), and boom! came pictures of togetherness - posing together, trips together, being much thinner back in those days - together, even graduating...together. And I'm like, hmmm...I have those pictures too. It hits you when you realise you won't be using your own ‘together’ pictures. That explains why people tear, burn, destroy and send all visual proof of past relationships down the shredder machine in Cantonese drama series! Hehehe. The whole presentation was sweet. Really, it was. And the effect of it? Well, let's just say the ‘couples’ table next to ours could naturally relate. But just by looking around my ‘singles’ table, there was silence disguised by the applause. A mutual, unspeakable language we all understood. Some looked up. Some looked down. Some looked around. Some looked away. Some stared straight into the braised chicken dish in the center of the table, in a blur. It was like as though a huge, dark, gloomy cloud covered us and all that runs through is When will it be my turn? Will it ever be my turn? Will I even get a chance?
And in just five seconds, we snapped out of it. The cloud disappeared, the lights came back on and it was bright again and – hey, can someone pass the chilli sauce, please? – let’s take more pictures – what’s the next dish ah? – did you know that Weng tailor-made his white shirt? – Lately I find guys wearing cufflinks very attractive, don’t you think? – who’s going to Passion after this?
Ha!

There was a live jazz band led by a middle-aged female singer. The night was allll about love and halfway through dinner she said, "To couples out there, I salute you!". Hmmm...no salute to the singles, I guess. That’s encouraging. And then she started to sing Diana Krall’s, "Let's fall in love, why shouldn't we fall in love? Now is the time for it while we are young, let’s fall in love!" Now I happen to love that song but at that moment, it just felt funny and bordering on ticklish and ridiculous, I turned to Kenny and said, yeah, let's just all fall in love with each other. Now that would be interesting. :P

Haha, don’t get me wrong, I’m not bitter or anything. It’s just funny in a sarcastic way, don’t you think? :P But one couldn’t help but feel straight out from an episode of Sex And The City when the ladies attended a couple of weddings and were ‘attacked’ for being single. Last night, our group was divided into three tables – married, dating couples, singles. Goh happened to be on our table as his girlfriend had to attend another wedding. She did join us much later when dinner was almost over but I think for the most part of the night, he knew how it felt like to be…one of ‘us’. Haha. He also saw the pressure in getting married and the whole talk about the future of two people together and the expectations and standards set by our own human doing.

I wonder...when did we begin to feel incomplete? When did one whole, shrink into half, leaving us waking up every day finding ways to make us whole again, searching desperately for THE ONE to complete the missing puzzle. When was the first time you knew you 'needed' that someone in your life? That being just you would not suffice. When did the word "single" become such a face-blushing-shame compared to a big-fat-smile of "I'm married!". When did marriage enter your list of things to accomplish in life? Like a promotion from an executive to director. Besides, didn't we all start out at as solo acts before attempting duets? Does age have something to do with it? Oh, I'm turning 30! Tick-tock-tick! Better get hitched before I self-destruct in two hundred and thirty nine days, seven hours, five minutes and fourty eight seconds!
Or was it puberty and that first crush you had in high school? Then again, some kids I know had their first crush in pre-school! Ha, go figure.

Back to more highlights of the night. The groom’s speech was perfect. Unplanned, unwritten, sincere and straight from the heart. He thanked his family dearly and even surprised his wife with a few words to her. Divine. :)


couple of the night

A pal of Chin Heng’s from MC did an impromptu appearance on stage, introducing himself as Raymond and sending his best wishes to both the bride and groom, and sang Always by Atlantic Starr with the band’s singer. WOW WEE WOO!!! It was really nice! Well, not nice as in Peabo Bryson-Celine Dion nice but really good for a non-professional singer with no prior rehearsal. Good enough to send this little Miss me all clapping and excited while Sue laughed and clapped along. I believe I was NOT the only girl in the ballroom getting all perked up okay? The guys were turning green though. With remarks like, “aiyah, his voice pales in comparison to hers la” and “eh, that’s a great way to get immediate attention from the crowd especially the ladies la! I also want to do!” Well, if you could even sing half as good as he can to begin with! Duh. Haha. I turned to Sue and said “I absolutely have to find a guy who can sing!” and she immediately exclaimed, “I knew you were gonna say that!!!” Hahaha. I ‘think’ Kenny overheard me but I don’t believe I said it that loudly. No, I couldn’t have. Or maybe I did? On purpose?! Hehe. :P (if you’ve lost the plot, Kenny once told me that he can’t carry a tune even at karaoke).

Before Raymond’s song ended, all female antennas were ejected way up high to find signals on any information obtainable. Whadayaknow? He’s taken. By the lady in black, sitting right next to him on table…75? Not surprising at all.

Most of the guys were heng-tais in the morning. The girls? We were at work. Most of the guys took leave the next morning, or were going into their offices late. The girls? We work. Sigh, come to think of it, maybe some of what Pat had to say has some truth in it. Women are devoted to their jobs! :PIt's simply amazing to see the energy that the men have. The excitement of pre-wedding right up to planning the post-wedding dinner party shocked me considering how the world sees females as the kan-cheong ones in wedding preparations.

We were seated on a table by the side and that gave us space to dance a little and stand around. I had to get up because the wine was getting to my head and the girls could barely keep their eyes open before dessert was even served! Exhaustion from work mixed with red wine, fruit punch and tea isn't really an energy booster. After a few Theresa Teng and Kris Dayanti numbers, the wedding singer attempted Alan Tam’s Pang Yao (friends) which got us all silly and swaying from left to right. The ones who know the lyrics; Pat, Kenny and gang sang along while the other ‘bananas’ like me just did the la-la-las. Haha. It was very simply, singles comforting singles. :)


clockwise from left: single, attached, single, single and single


single and single

Before dinner came to an end, the guys were busy going around the ballroom recruiting members for the Rombongan-Bersama-Walk-Over-To-Passion-From-Mandarin-Oriental. Talk about momentum. I suggested to Sue that we should just walk over with them instead of hopping in the car with Goh and his girlfriend. Besides, it’s not everytime you get to strut down KL all dressed up, walking beside gentlemen in suits! People might think we came from a prom and we can pretend being sweet sixteen again! I told her to think like Carrie Bradshaw, only the roads here aren’t paved as well as Manhattan ones. Haha. So with that, I convinced her to take the walk in her pair of 3 and a half inches Nine West strappy sandals! Hehe.

We arrived at Passion much to Weng and Kenny’s disappointment. The girl they had made reservations with messed up and double booked the VIP room, giving it away to a party of 25 celebrating a birthday. Weng was fuming and shouting on the phone with the girl in charge while Kenny kept his calm despite being frustrated, negotiating with the staff at hand. As I stood by the side watching these guys trying to sort things out, it strangely appeared very ala The Apprentice to me. Must’ve been them in their black coats walking around with their mobile phones and troubled looks. :P I could see the guys really wanted to make it a memorable and enjoyable night for Chin Heng. They tried their best to make the night flow smoothly. There is a very strong friendship unit. One thing Edmund never had and still doesn’t have is his own buddies. You’d be surprise that a twenty seven year old guy has no close friends aside from hi-bye ones. No group of heng-tais he can call his own. The brotherhood support he could depend on and someone to whack him on his head to set him straight when he does wrong. Ah, the importance of friends and the bond shared. What a gift! From football kakis, bandmates, colleagues or Uni-pals, it is oh-so-important for a man to have a support group of friends he can call his own. If you think only girls need their girlfriends to yak with, you’re sadly mistaken. Chin Heng had heng-tais from Australia, UK, America, Indonesia, Singapore, Hong Kong, Canada, all fly to KL just for his wedding. Talk about support!

I was getting really tired at Passion. Sue, Michelle (Goh’s girlfriend), Carmen and I sat outdoors for quite sometime while the others were inside yam-seng-ing and hoping their voices would drown the club music. Tough. I didn’t want to go in because I knew my head would explode from the loud music. Coming from jazz and easy-listening music at dinner, the brain couldn’t really switch genre that fast. But after catching some fresh air, we decided to go in and send our best wishes to the bride and groom before leaving. Surprisingly, I got into the mood the minute I stepped in. I think it was the joyful atmosphere. To see Chin Heng SOOOOO happy with Lee Ming, you really can’t help but smile and have fun. :D That didn’t stop my observation of the guys around me though. Everyone was touchy-feely. Guys in particular, trying to chat up girls and all that. And in my head, I’m like, Yup, touch and feel your way to a potential wife. Right… Sue and I caught Pat's hands all over this girl near the bar and I was like, Yup, way to go Pat, wifey material indeed! :P {rolls eyes}

It was such a relief to say my goodnight and drive home in the comfort of my car tuning in to His Grace Flows Down by Passion...with the knowledge that, in Pastor Prince's words: God's perfect choice for me is somewhere out there. :)